Wednesday, April 5, 2017

All the BAD Words

There are some words that just should not be uttered. I am not entirely sure what it is about them, whether it is the sound of them being said, the idea of the word, or what the word stands for but there are just some words that need to be eliminated immediately!

1.I know that this word is highly despised by not only myself, but by MANY people. It is one of those words that people say and it makes me feel all icky inside, like I saw something I shouldn't have. It is often used to describe food and preferably a well made, great tasting food, so much so that food judges on Food Network repeat the word OVER and OVER again as they savor each bite of their food. Shut your mouth right now and just eat your chocolate cake, say it is decadent for god's sake, it is the most decadent piece of cake you have ever tasted, it melted in your mouth. Instead you insist on the most repulsive word in the English language MOIST!!!

2.I am repulsed by the word Bologna, I don't know whether it is the fact that I am thinking of the actual food or that it stems from the torture that my husband and his friends caused me as they repeatedly yelled "fried bologna" at me until I nearly barfed. Yes apparently that is a thing, HEAVE!

3.So bodily things happen it is just part of life, but there is something about diarrhea that is so obnoxious. My friend once told me that her Dad couldn't say the word because he was so disgusted by it so he called it "splooties"! WHAT!!! That is so much worse, that is like having the bad word plus the sound of what is going to happen at the same time uttered from your mouth. Yuck, just tell me your belly hurts and you need some time in the bathroom and leave out the details.

4.My husband has this obnoxious little trick that he does where he ruins EVERY radio song and I mean EVERY RADIO SONG!!! You are bopping along to your favorite new tune and bam in comes my husband to change the lyrics like a bad lip dub and now the song is forever ruined. I can't unhear it and it sticks in my mind everytime I hear that song.

5.I will not say the name of "he who shall not be named". I know he is probably too busy tweeting to some other country, or complaining to the media about their fake news, but honestly his name is a BAD, BAD word. J.K. Rowling talks about him constantly for a reason, I think Voldemort was actually him just bald,with a british accent, and a little more likeable.

6. Words that are impossible for me to say are immediately bad words like Entrepeneur, that is just a dumb word to say. I still can't say it for the life of me, eliminate it immediately. While you are at it get rid of those words with silent letters that make no sense, like BOLOGNA.

7.Now let's talk horticulture for a second because whoever thought it was a good idea to use the word bush would be incorrect. Innocently one day I let my 4 year old watch an episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse only to have Clarabelle cow announce that we had to find the TRIANGLE BUSH, shut your mouth you dirty cow! That word is now going to be changed forever to shrub, find the TRIANGLE SHRUB, you got it cow!

8.There are just some words that are not meant to be uttered but they just happen and after you say them you secretly wish you could stick q-tips in your ears and bludgeon your eardrums. Like curdled, which makes me so sick to my stomach. Having young children there is nothing better than finding that 3 day old sippy cup that your child dropped en route to their crib and you hear your husband say, "anyone want cheese." BARF!!

9.If you hear the word LICE you start scratching your head and if you hear MAGGOTS you start gagging, if you see LICE or MAGGOTS you will both gag and scratch your head. So funny story I got lice one time on an airplane to Las Vegas, "yeah what happens in Vegas stays attached to your airplane seat waiting to latch onto an unassuming passenger." Needless to say it was traumatizing, as I have very thick hair and it seemed an impossible task to manage. Nothing like touring the Las Vegas Walgreens for RID shampoo, there wasn't even a slot machine in the place, how lame!

10. So what is it that makes your skin crawl, your blood boil, makes you queasy or feel downright repulsed? What word is it for you? Maybe it is one of the words above or maybe it is something else that brings back a horrible memory or story, I would love to hear it in the comments below.

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